I’m taking some screenwriting classes, and one of the first things we learn about is ‘loglines’. A logline is a one-sentence description of a script, whether it be 3 pages or 100 pages, that describes the action of the movie. I figured, being the bored sort of person that I am, that I could review every movie/television special I’ve seen this summer with a logline. This would save time, and energy, and it’s also good practice. And trying to sum long things up in one sentence is…amusing. So, here is the product of a rather boring period during the day:
The Avengers-A bunch of superheroes who aren’t really heroes have to learn to work together to stop Loki, the God of Mischief, and his alien friends, who are intent on destroying midtown Manhattan.
The Dark Knight Rises-Batman comes back after 8 years of being a recluse to fight Bane, a strong man with a funny voice who is also intent on destroying Manhattan…er, I mean, Gotham.
Richard II-King Richard (II) of England banishes Henry, only to have Henry take the kingship from him because of some sort of revenge involving Richard crying a lot and beautiful scenery.
Henry IV Part 1-King Henry IV (Jeremy Irons) tries to prevent civil war with Scotland, while his son, Prince Hal, drinks and does Jeremy Irons impressions until he is called off to war.
Henry IV Part II-Falstaff plots to become rich and Henry IV is dying, leaving Prince Hal to take over the throne, and not get drunk anymore.
Henry V-After the French insult Henry V with tennis balls, Henry declares war on them, and marries the French King’s daughter for good measure.
Brave-A young Scottish princess named Merida doesn’t want to get married, so she turns her mother into a bear instead.
Midnight In Paris-Owen Wilson finds out that at midnight, 2011 Paris turns into 1920’s Paris, and he can’t quite get over how F. Scott Fitzgerald, Dalí, and Ernest Hemingway exist.
Batman and Robin-Batman takes a bunch of drugs, which makes him hallucinate the likes of Uma Thurman and Bane in a hospital, and Robin makes “witty” remarks.
Kill Bill-A nameless woman who was nearly killed at her own wedding decides to kill everyone else, using only a katana and a lot of anger, and no small amount of toe movement.
Thor-Mythological Norse gods, like Thor, Loki, and Odin, have major family problems that result in large-scale fights that destroy everything, all because they didn’t go to therapy.
Captain America-A scrawny kid with every issue under the sun because a super soldier, gets called Captain America, kicks Nazi ass, and ends up being late for a dinner date.
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers-Aragorn injures himself being a badass, Legolas says obvious things, and the hobbits putter around some gorgeous scenery, all while an evil wizard wages war on everyone, and somewhere in all this two hobbits find time to get high by smoking plants.
Billy Elliot-A young boy named Billy wants to dance, and his town, which is full of miners, doesn’t want him to dance, but he’s just so good at dancing.
Trainspotting-A bunch of Scottish heroin addicts make a mess of everything, and the main character, Renton, repeatedly tries to get off heroin, with varying success on a scale of “too high to care” to “I’m running away because I stole my friend’s money and he’ll kill me but at least I’m not on drugs.”
So, if you couldn’t already tell, I watched a lot of different movies this summer. And it was awesome! But most of these (not all) are pretty good, so if you have spare time, watch away.
Time Traveling Shakespeare 